I Hate Valentine's Day!

I'll be honest. I hate Valentines Day with a royal passion. I always have. I guess it started in grade school when all the kid would exchange valentines cards- you know, those little cards that say To: and From:

I seldom received one and I never really gave any away, either. At that young and impressionable age, to not receive Valentines cards, is it any wonder so many adults have relationship and self esteem problems?

During my teen years, there were the usual high school sweethearts walking through the halls, holding hands, sharing lockers, spending every free moment together, cheering each other on in their separate after school activities. Sure, I dated a few guys. Some really cute ones. But it never felt right.

As teens, we don't know enough about the world, or ourselves for that matter, to fully understand that it is okay to be alone; we do not have to be constantly linked to another being to define ourselves as a person. Unfortunately, society has other ideas and too many young people are gullible enough to believe those ideas.

I made it through my teens having received few Valentines, though I so wanted something- anything! By the time I turned nineteen and joined the Army, all I wanted was someone to be with; someone for me.

Years later as I look back in reflection, I ask myself why I wanted someone so bad. The answer I kept coming back to was that I had not taken the time to really get to know me.

In the Army, I met a fellow soldier and married him. During those first few months, I really adored him and wanted to marry him. We hit a rough patch, and he went back to an old girlfriend. My feelings for him began to wane, partly because we were on separate Army posts, and partly because I was finally beginning to learn about myself.

When his relationship soured, he came back, and I did take him back. I found I still loved him, and still wanted to marry him, but at that point, I would have married Hugh Heffner had he asked.

We married, and our relationship changed in that moment. Four months later- our first Valentines as husband and wife- found us simply exchanging token cards and grunting at each other, even though I was pregnant with our first child.

Fast forward, three years and another child- and woman- later, and we divorced. I was so relieved! Sure, I was hurt at being so easily replaced but by then I realized I really didn't want to be married to him, or anyone.

Still, as each inevitable roll of the calendar to yet another Valentine's Day, I found myself feeling down, hurt, sometimes angry, fed up. Why, I would ask myself- why? I had determined since my divorce, and several subsequent failed short relationships that I prefer to be alone, and that, due to the high strung and insanely neurotic and jealous person I am, need to be alone- and stay alone. I need solitude to sort through the constant chaos which swirls neverending through my mind, and to have to worry about someone else and what they're doing, well... no thanks.

So why do I hate Valentine's Day so much? The answer is quite simple, really.

Society dictates that relationships are everything. If you aren't with someone, you're no one; you must not be worthy if you cannot attain and/or sustain a relationship.

I'm proof positive that's just not so. But when I think back to my grade school days when the other boys and girls were gleefully reading each coveted Valentine's card as I sat at my desk, lonely and alone, and to my high school days, watching sweethearts be sweet with each and wanting that too, the memories of how I felt during those times wash over me anew.

When we don't receive Valentine's gifts, we're made to feel no one loves us, or cares for us. Even for a hermit like me, it feels good knowing that maybe someone cares. But I don't need a hastily bought gift or wilted flowers, or a generic card that a million other women will also receive to let me know someone does care for me.

And I certainly don't want- nor expect- anyone to dig deep in their pockets to remember they love me for one day, yet forget about letting me know that for the rest of the year!

When my animals lick my hand, and when my children wrap their arms around my neck and hug me tight, every day is Valentine's Day and that's all I need.

LifeWriter is an author on http://www.Writing.Com/ which is a site for Writers.

She writes frequently on issues of child abuse, mental health and animal issues.

Valentines Flowers Tips for Guys on the Go

It's tough to be romantic when you're on the go, working 12 hours a day, and juggling mulitple priorities. No wonder that on a romance scale of 1 to 10, only 19% of women rate their boyfriend, husband, or significant other a 7 or higher. But, wait guys; there's help. Even if you're on the go, you can boost your romance quotient this Valentines silver gifts -- with flowers. Here's how.

Don't fret about choosing the right gift.

Flowers are still the most desired gift from an admirer and to express love. They're personal, romantic, and according to researchers at Rutgers University, actually raise peoples spirits. In one study with 147 women of varying ages, those who received flowers smiled significantly more than those who received other gifts. Fresh, colorful flowers evoke happy feelings. Other studies indicate that flowers actually improve emotional health and make people feel more connected. According to professor Jeannette Haviland-Jones, PhD, "The phrase 'stop and smell the roses' may have a touch of genius in it."

Order early.

Sending sterling silver flowers is fast and easy! There are wonderful local florists in virtually every town, as well as dozens of leading online florists that deliver nationwide. And, ordering only takes a few minutes. So, don't let your busy schedule get in the way. Just pick up the phone or shop online. But, remember, Valentines is the "Superbowl" of flower holidays, with five to ten times the normal volume of deliveries. So, for the best selection, service, and pricing, it's best to order early. You'll be glad you did.

Sending flowers to where she works?

That's a great idea. silver Valentines day gifts can brighten her whole week, she'll be reminded of you every time she looks at them, and co-workers comments are a big plus, too. But, here's a helpful tip from Romeos in the know. With million of deliveries on Valentine's Day, flowers can arrive almost anytime. So, play it safe. Ask for delivery the day before Valentine's. That way your gift will be even more of a pleasant surprise and is sure to be enjoyed throughout all of Valentine's Day. In other words, you look like you were planning ahead and avoid any risk of your gift looking like a last-minute afterthought.

There's more to Valentines than just red roses.

While beautiful long-stem red roses are still the most popular Valentine's flower gift, there are lots of other options for every taste and budget. Many women prefer pretty pastel roses in pink, peach, yellow, or assorted spring colors. They can make you stand out from the crowd. And, almost half of all Valentine's bouquets aren't roses at all; they're lush mixed bouquets and spring flowers such as tulips. Choosing something unique can show you remember your sweetheart's favorite color or flower. Your favorite florist will have a great selection and can quickly help you with the best choice.

Remember flowers after Valentine's too.

What's the best way for a man to make a lasting impression on a woman? Research shows that the answer to making a memorable impact is right under his nose -- with flowers. Ninety-two percent of women can remember the last time they received flowers, and 89% agree that receiving flowers makes them feel special. "If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, then the pathway to a woman's heart is through her other senses," says Rebecca Cole, of Discovery Channel's Surprise By Design. "Flowers are a sensual gift that can express any emotion so simply - with just a little knowledge and a phone call to your florist." And, flowers given for no special reason may be the most special of all. So, light a fire with flowers this Valentine's. And, keep it burning with a surprise gift of flowers anytime throughout the year.

By John E. Williams courtesy of 1-800-FLORALS. Award-winning same-day and next-day flowers delivery throughout the USA and Canada plus international flowers by wire. Since 1923.

The History of Valentine's Day

Many people try to complain that Valentine's Day is nothing more than a "Hallmark holiday" dreamed up by businesses seeking to profit from the desperate masses seeking love. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Valentine's Day traces its history back to ancient Rome, long before any such businesses started looking towards their bottom line.

In ancient Rome, February 14th was declared to be a celebration for Juno, queen of all the Roman gods and goddesses. Boys and girls who were segregated throughout the year would come together and draw names from a jar, and would pair up with the chosen person throughout the Festival of Lupercalia. Often, as a result of these pairings, the couples would fall in love and sometimes get married.

There are many legends of how Valentine's Day came to be at this point in Ancient Rome. Some believe that St. Valentine helped prisoners of harsh Roman prisons escape and thus was imprisoned by the Roman Empire. This legend continues that, while in prison, St. Valentine fell in love with his jailor's daughter and began to send her written love letters signed "From your valentine."

The prevailing legend is that St. Valentine was a Roman priest who began to secretly marry couples against the direct orders of Emperor Claudius II. Claudius believed that he was having difficulties recruiting soldiers for his immense military because the young men didn't want to leave their sweethearts at home. To combat this problem, he declared that both engagements and marriages were illegal. St. Valentine eventually was executed for his violation of Claudius' orders, but his spirit lived on throughout Rome.

When the Roman Empire fell and the Church became more prevalent throughout medieval Europe, they abolished all pagan rituals and celebrations including the Festival of Lupercalia. However, the people didn't want to give up their traditions of boys drawing girls' names. Therefore, the Church declared February 14th to be a holiday in celebration of St. Valentine, the priest who secretly married so many couples.

However, the boys were then told to draw names of saints instead of girls. The boys were then to emulate the life of their chosen saint for the following year. The people continued this for a short period of time, and then reverted back to choosing names of girls instead of the saints.

By the 15th Century, St. Valentines Day was celebrated with lovers singing their romantic feelings to their chosen ones. People often wrote sonnets and other love poems to give to their romantic interests. By the end of this century, these sonnets were written on ornate paper and became the first valentines. In fact, the oldest surviving valentine was written in 1415 from the Duke of Orleans to his wife. It was written while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London and is on display in the British Museum in London.

Soon, valentine brands became known for their unique properties. Fraktur Valentines were known for their ornate, medieval-style lettering. A piece of paper was folded and cut into an elaborate, lacey pattern for Cutout Valentines. Puzzle Purse Valentines were complex puzzles of folded paper, allowing different portions of the valentine to be exposed at different times. Oilpaper stencils were used to paint Theoren Valentines. And Pinprick Valentines were made by, naturally, pricking a piece of paper repeatedly to transform the paper into a lace of sorts.

By the 18th Century, Valentine's Day became extremely popular throughout Great Britain and lovers began to exchange token gifts alongside their valentine cards. Amongst the commoners, this gift was often a small sweet that could be obtained with meager funds. In the upper classes, the gifts became more and more extravagant and included large boxes of chocolates, sweets, and even jewels.

In the 1840's, Esther A. Howland began her company producing valentines in the United States. She became known as the Mother of the Valentine, producing beautiful cards of colored paper, lace, and ornate lettering. By the late 19th Century, valentines were produced in factories by Norcross, later to be known as Hallmark.

These factory-produced valentines grew to encompass more than just declarations of undying love and devotion. As society changed and moved away from formal courtship, the valentines began to cover more light-hearted messages of humor and affection. These valentines became even more widely accepted as people expanded their circles of friends and companions.

Today, Valentine's Day is celebrated as a holiday honoring romance. Boys and girls no longer pick names out of a jar, but instead exchange valentines with token messages of affection. In the tradition of Great Britain, children often exchange small sweets, while adult lovers give each other large cases of sweets and gifts.

While the exact origins of Valentine's Day are slightly murky, there is no doubt that it is not just a holiday from the modern times. Instead, it is a chance to both honor the history and modernity of romance and affection.

Jane S. Roseen is the Owner and President of Harmony Sweets. Harmony Sweets is an international gourmet chocolate shop focusing on individual consumers purchasing gourmet chocolates from around the world for their friends and relatives, corporate gift-giving, and wholesale sales to retail outlets across North America.

Website: http://www.harmonysweets.com

Valentine's Day - A Romantic Peak Or A Commercial Basement?

Every year there is a surge in romantic interest as February, the Month of Hearts, approaches, and the scent of Valentine's Day begins to waft in the air. When it comes to reality, though, how much of that surge is genuinely about romance? Is it not all a commercial exercise designed to rake in the profits?

I do not think anyone can argue that commercial interests contribute greatly to the publicity that surrounds Valentine's Day. You see it everywhere from Christmas onwards; the Valentine's cards, the Valentine's chocolates with their heart shaped boxes and pictures of roses, plus of course all the advertisements for the roses themselves and how you must book early for that Valentine evening meal.

The commercial side of Valentine's can appear so overwhelming you may be persuaded to believe that it is nothing to do with love and romance at all, but purely about making money; that the hearts and the roses are nothing more than artificial symbols of a romantic world that no longer exists.

With much of Western society having a hardened veneer, where underneath relationships fall apart with a puff of wind, and divorce is almost built into marriage, anyone can be forgiven for taking such a cynical view. However, dismissing the whole Valentine Day experience as nothing but commercial is far too simplistic, and to do so is to deny oneself a far richer experience: that of genuine romance and love.

Any commercial venture only succeeds if there is a demand, and Valentine's Day has been a commercial success for many years. Before then, the Valentine's tradition itself had evolved over many centuries, long before commerce became the apparent driving force behind it. So where has the modern demand come from for an event such as Valentine's Day?

Love, attraction, obsession, and romance are as old as the hills, and are integral to the human constitution. While many modern people may claim that they prefer to be alone and do not need anyone else, do not need love and romance in their lives, if they were truly honest with themselves they may say something very different. It is not "macho" to publicly need love, affection and romance, so many hide from their own truth, that they probably yearn for the love of another as much as the most openly romantic.

Others, though, reflect as much desire for romantic love as any man or woman over the centuries, and it is deeply natural to do so. They reflect those desires as they go searching for romantic fiction, love poems and true love stories by the million. If they do have love in their lives as Valentine's Day comes around, then they are well prepared to make the most of it; to indulge in the romantic image with their own twist of reality and desire.

Love and romance have not died and will never die. Some may shy away in fear of the pain of a failed or a tragic romance; but others dive in head first, not fearful that their love will turn out to be as tragic as Romeo and Juliet. Such people provide the never ending demand for a Valentine's Day that transcends the commercial and explores all the bright and dark corridors of romance. In other words, experience life to the full, and risk the pain and heartache to achieve the ecstasy.

This Valentines Day article was written by Roy Thomsitt. Enjoy a good romance? You can also read Roy's Romeo and Juliet story.

Easy Valentine's Day Jewelry Ideas for Every Budget

For Valentine's Day, few gifts will make her heart pitter-patter more than the gift of jewelry. It's the fool-proof way to make a good impression and show her how you feel about her. And whether you're hesitant about buying jewelry because you're working with a modest budget, or money is not an object, there are dozens of options for finding the perfect Valentine's Day jewelry gift for that special woman in your life.

Below, we cover a spectrum of ideas that will make her heart sparkle.

Modest - Less than $100

If your budget is $100 or less - even $50 or less - you don't need to fear the jewelry store. There are plenty of options to match every woman's taste and style. A sterling sliver charm bracelet, locket or heart-tag bracelet are beautiful selections that echo the theme of Valentine's Day.

If you want a gift that includes some sort of stone, and you know her birthday month, you can get a necklace or earrings with her birthstone. Or, you can search for that unique gift that will always remind her of you, such as a miniature Hershey kiss necklace or a locket with a picture of the two of you in it. Add some chocolates and flowers, and you have truly captured the essence of Valentine's Day for her.

Moderate - $100-$500

If you have a little more money to spend, you have a few more options. In this range, you can find everything from a modest pair of gold earrings to a diamond engagement ring. Few things are more romantic than a marriage proposal on Valentine's Day - so if you've been thinking about proposing, this may be the best time to do it.

A pair of diamond stud earrings are a sure winner - I rarely see a return on this gift. A personalized piece of jewelry with engraving will also make her heart melt - whether it's a ring with a loving, yet brief, message of love with one of her favorite stones or it's a bracelet or locket with her initials on it. A personalized gift reflects thoughtfulness - a key sentiment for Valentine's Day. Lastly, you can purchase a jewelry set - stud earrings in her birthstone or diamonds with a matching solitaire pendant.

Magniloquent - $500 or more

When you have the budget to buy whatever she wants for Valentine's Day, your best bet is to find something that is over-the-top unique - something you know her friends won't have. If you're looking for a gift that will evoke shrieks of delight and that she'll proudly be showing off for months, diamonds are the easiest route to go.

And she'll absolutely love a fine jewelry gift that combines the timeless beauty of diamonds with a heart - the signature symbol of Valentine's Day. The diamond heart pendant is always an elegant choice, and beautifully captures the expression of love. The tennis bracelet is a classic gift, but there are many different combinations of diamonds, heart pendants and charms that can make a beautiful bracelet gift. Also, combining colored gems - rubies, sapphires, emeralds and others - with diamonds, whether it's a ring, pair of earrings, bracelet or necklace, can create a timeless, treasured gift.

Finding the right jewelry gift does not have to break your budget, but does require some looking around to find the right jewelry store for you. Valentine's Day jewelry, like jewelry for any other occasion, is a very personal gift. When going through the purchasing process, you need a comfortable, low-pressure environment so that you can take the time to find the right gift for her. The most romantic day of the year should be celebrated - and there's no better way to honor your love for her than with a gift she'll treasure all year long. Give the gift of fine jewelry.

Ronnie Adolf is president of Adolf Jewelers, a fine jewelry store located in Richmond, Virginia with an inventory of 3,500 pieces and Valentine's Day jewelry for every budget. For more information on Adolf Jewelers, visit: http://www.adolfjewelers.com

How to Pick Perfect Flowers for Valentine's Day

When we say Valentine's day, we really mean beautiful flowers. Each February 14th, people around the world send millions of greeting cards and flowers to their loved ones. Men are searching for Valentines day flowers, and women send Valentines flowers to men as well.

To lovers, red roses are the first and the best choice for Valentine's Day flowers. The relationship you have with your girlfriend affects the color of roses you send. Red roses are generally reserved for longer relationships where the couple is passionately in love. Pink roses are more appropriate for a newer relationship. They symbolize the relationship and happiness, but do not put any pressure on the girl regarding your feelings other than to let her know you really like her. Any color of rose is appropriate, especially if your girlfriend is passionate about a certain color. Primrose, in essence, says that you cannot live without her. Red signifies passion, pink that she is on your mind and white sweetness.

If you are buying flowers for a daughter or a mom, then affectionate and cheerful flowers are more appropriate - wild flowers, tulips, Gerber daisies, or any flower that is a woman's particular favorite. Pink, yellow, orange, or white roses are popular choice and appropriate for a mom or daughter Every woman loves roses, and the alternate colors brighten up the rose as well as show love in a non-romantic way. Red roses are reserved only for romantic relationships.

Men love flowers too. If flowers are not the first thing that comes to mind for a man's gift. the vast majority of men do enjoy receiving Valentine day flowers. The flowers for Valentine's day that are most appropriate for men, regardless of the position the man holds in your life, are flowers that are bright and vibrant in reds, oranges and yellows. Roses, Gerber daisies and carnations are always great choices - not to mention any particular favorite flower the man might have from orchids to a cactus. Of course, if you are sending Valentine's flowers to your husband or boyfriend red roses are just as appropriate for men as they are for women and represent the love and passion in the relationship. Valentine flowers specifically for a dad or a son should show appreciation and thoughtfulness on Valentine's day. Again, bright colored flowers, plants and bonsai trees are also great choices.

Natalie Aranda is a freelance write. She writes about travel, business, family, love. She's working on articles about hairstyles 2006 trends

Valentine's Day Gifts for Your Wife

Men who have been married for awhile may have a great deal of difficulty selecting gifts for their wives on Valentine's Day. They may feel as though they have spent so many Valentine's Day together that they have already bought their wives all of the standard gifts and may have trouble thinking up new and original gift ideas for Valentine's Day.

They may have already bought their wives items such as flowers, candy, lingerie and jewelry and may feel as though repeating these gifts would not be appropriate. However, there are a lot of great gift ideas for men to give to their wives on Valentine's Day. This article will focus on how men can update some of the traditional gift ideas and will also provide some unique gift ideas for men to give their wives on Valentine's Day.

Candy is one of the most popular gifts for men to give to women on Valentine's Day. Men who have given their wives a gift of candy in the past may feel as though it would be inappropriate to give her candy again. However, this is not true. Candy is a gift which is almost always appreciated on Valentine's Day.

There are ways to make candy seem like a more original gift though. Men who normally give their wives a gift of an assortment of chocolates in a heart shaped box can search for other candy options available. For example, they may find chocolate covered strawberries available in a number of unique designs. They can also make a gift of candy more original by making the candy themselves.

Making candy is not difficult and can be a great deal of fun. While some women will always appreciate a gift of candy, she will be more surprised if you make the candy yourself because it shows you put more effort into the gift.

Jewelry is another popular gift idea for men to give to women on Valentine's Day. Men may feel as though once they give their wife a few pieces of jewelry, there is no way to continue giving jewelry. However, this is not true. For example if you previously gave your wife a solitaire ring you might consider giving her a new ring with three stones to reflect the past, the present and your future together. You might even consider having the solitaire ring modified to include the additional stones.

You can also put a unique spin on gifts of jewelry by giving different stones or jewelry of different metals. However, when selecting a gift of jewelry for your wife on Valentine's Day care should be taken to choose items that reflect her taste so you are sure your wife will love the gift and want to wear it often.

If you and your wife have children and excellent gift idea for Valentine's Day is to present your wife with handmade coupons for free afternoons. You will take care of the kids during this time so your wife can go out and relax and enjoy some time to herself. Many women often feel guilty about leaving the children with their husbands to take time for themselves. This type of gift will make her more likely to take some time to get a manicure or do some shopping without feeling guilty because you will be volunteering to watch the kids so your wife will not feel like she is inconveniencing you by asking for some time to herself.

You can make this type of gift even more special by giving your wife a gift certificate to a beauty salon so she can go to get her hair done or have a manicure and pedicure. You can also plan a special activity for the kids while she is gone. For example you might sit with the kids and have them make a gift for their mom while she is gone. This way your wife will have some free time and will also receive a homemade gift from her children.

Ryan Smith is the owner of MyCirclePal.Com, one of the Net's hottest community and social neworking sites! Post your free profile today at http://www.mycirclepal.com/